


Verbal Intercourse

by pulangaraw



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-09
Updated: 2011-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-22 10:51:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulangaraw/pseuds/pulangaraw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John worries, Sherlock had sex and Irene says it the way it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Verbal Intercourse

John trudged down the stairs, yawned, rubbed sleep out of his eyes and entered the kitchen to -

“Fucking hell-,” John started, then stared.

Right there, in the middle of his kitchen stood a curly-black mop of very long hair. Underneath the hair was a lovely female face and - clad in a familiar blue silk bathrobe - a female body. John blinked. The woman smiled.

“You must be John.”

“Uhm,” John said.

“I’m Irene. Irene Adler,” she continued, still smiling.

John was almost ready to give a more eloquent reply when Sherlock breezed into the room. Since Irene was currently wearing his bathrobe, he was only clad in his pyjama bottoms. John did _not_ take a good look at his unclad torso.

Irene flew over to him and kissed his cheek. “Morning sweety! I’ll go and get dressed. Make me a coffee?” With that she was out the door.

John oggled. Sherlock looked helplessly at John. “Coffee?”

“Who is that?” John asked.

“Irene. Do we have coffee?” Sherlock looked around the kitchen as if coffee would magically appear if he just wished for it long enough.

“Did you...,” John paused, trying to find a nice way to formulate his question, “sleep with her?”

“Evidently. Can we focus on the problem at hand? Coffee, John?”

John reached into the kitchen cabinet, took out the coffee tin and handed it to Sherlock. He held it like it might spring to life. John waited exactly ten seconds before he took it out of Sherlock’s hands again and began making coffee.

“I’m just surprised. I didn’t think-” John started again.

“That seems to be your general problem,” Sherlock interrupted.

“Do you want to make your own coffee?” John fired back.

Sherlock snorted and sat on the counter. “There’s no reason to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You are jealous because you are afraid that I am going to start a relationship with Irene, which would eventually leave you alone and without a place to live. I am not going to enter into a relationship so your worries are entirely unfounded.”

Irene stuck her head round the door. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” Sherlock raised his eyebrows and Irene amended, “Fine, I didn’t mean to let you know that I eavesdropped, but you’re already in a relationship.”

“I am not-” Sherlock tried, but Irene interrupted him - and wasn’t that a surprise, someone dared stop a monologue of the great Sherlock Holmes, John thought rather hysterically.

“You and John, I mean.”

“We are not in a relationship,” John argued.

Irene laughed, “I’m not saying you’re having sex. You,” she pointed at John, “are way too kinky and you,” her finger wandered over to Sherlock, “are way to prude. Your verbal intercourse, however, is worse than that of a married couple. And don’t worry John, I’m not going to try to replace you. Wouldn’t dream of it.”

With a swish of the bathrobe she left again.

Sherlock looked at John. John pulled a face. Wordlessly they decided never to mention this conversation ever again.


End file.
